


Win or Lose

by allourheroes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allourheroes/pseuds/allourheroes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe victory meant losing control. Maybe it was the other way around. Either way, Tony was never overly fond of discussing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Win or Lose

**Author's Note:**

> Birthday fic for ellaangelus on tumblr who wanted Tony/Bruce angst. I don't ship Tony/Bruce and my angst is pretty weak, but, hey, I tried.

Bruce accepted the glass offered to him and set it down on the night stand. He lifted off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. It had been a long day on and off the field--research interrupted by villains forcing him to become…the other guy. Again.

It was better than it used to be. There was no doubt about that. His destruction was more controlled, but it didn’t mean he didn’t hate turning into that _thing_.

Tony swirled the scotch in his glass and took a swig, examining the other man and his obvious exhaustion. Bruce looked up at him and he pretended as if he hadn’t been caught staring, smirking and tilting his tumbler towards his fellow scientist, “We beat the bad guys. Go us.”

Bruce lifted his own glass to the toast, face forming into a cringing smile, “Yeah. Guess we did.”

“Hey,” Tony gestured to him, “You were great out there--all green and…huge. Good smashing, you know.” He raised his eyebrows in earnest, “Don’t worry about the property damage, S.H.I.E.L.D.’ll cover it.” He paused, brows furrowing, “I think.”

“What about those bystanders, Mr. Stark?” He added an air of professionalism to his speech as if he were simply voicing valid concerns rather than dwelling on his guilt.

“Tony. It’s Tony. You’ve called me Tony since day one. What are you-- We’ve,” he pointed to Bruce and himself with his free hand, “had sex. Multiple times. Your memory’s fine, right? Need to get anything checked out? I mean, no blows to the head? Permanent damage?” He took a seat beside him. Serious issues and dealing with human beings wasn’t exactly Tony’s strong suit. He was well aware of his charm--charisma was something he’d been dealt in spades--but talking someone through their problems? He’d usually do his best to avoid anything of that nature. After all, people spent their time trying to stop _his_ alcoholism, not the other way around.

“Well, _Tony_ ,” Bruce emphasized with a wry grin, “that doesn’t change how many people I’ve hurt or…” He sucked in a breath, face contorting, “Killed.”

“You’re a hero now. Avengers, superheroes, saving the planet, blah blah blah.” He nudged Bruce’s arm. “Kids wear Hulk masks and paint themselves green in your honor.”

“Don’t make it sound alright, it’s not. I become that other guy and I’m a monster. I’m a danger to everybody. Not just regular people, but you and the rest of our screwed up team.” He swirled the liquor in his glass and arranged himself back against the headboard, closing his eyes.

Tony stared off to the side for a minute, “You are Dr. Bruce Banner. You are a brilliant scientist--and I’d know, genius that I am.” He placed a hand, fingers splayed, over his chest in emphasis and finished his drink, setting his glass on the floor and pushing it under the bed--because Tony was a responsible individual like that. “ _And_ you’re pretty bad-ass in a fight.” Tony set himself in front of Bruce and decided on a new course of action, moving Bruce’s legs out of his way like he wasn’t a human being who could do that himself but rather as if his legs were offending Tony by being there and he needed to remedy that.

Bruce snorted, but allowed Tony in closer, watching him with half-lidded eyes.

“Your control is getting better.” He tapped the arc reactor, reminding the other man of his own feats of control.

Settling his hands on Tony’s sides, Bruce’s mouth twisted in uncertainty, “But how long before I lose it again?”

Tony pressed a kiss to his lips, Bruce returning it with a sigh, and hovered close, “Like I said, brilliant scientist. You’ll figure it out.” He kissed him again, deeper this time, Bruce’s lips parting and he delved in, sliding his tongue along the ridge of his teeth. He stole the tumbler from Bruce’s hand and broke apart long enough to finish it, letting it fall to the floor gracelessly.

They shared another moment of kisses, the soft sound of smacking lips. Bruce skimmed his fingers over the thin fabric covering the arc reactor and spoke quietly, “It’s different for you. This thing in me…what I am, what I _become_ …it’s…” He held his breath, searching for the words. “It would be safer for everyone if I was gone.”

“Back to India? ’Cause I’d find you,” Tony told him earnestly, big brown eyes locked on Bruce’s.

“You know what I mean.” Bruce looked at him meaningfully and Tony frowned back at him.

Working the buttons of Bruce’s shirt open, Tony huffed a mockery of a laugh, “Good thing you can’t do anything about that.” His fingers ran over the newly exposed skin and hair, scratching lightly.

“Tony…”

“No, no more talking. Talking bad.” He leaned in, resting his forehead against the crook of Bruce’s neck. Tony’s hand trailed downwards, teasing the inside of Bruce’s thigh before hovering over his groin. “Let’s just…not talk.” He placed a kiss on Bruce’s collarbone. “Or think.” He pulled back, eyes meeting the other man’s again, seeing his pinched expression, and added, “Please?”

Bruce nodded, knowing there was no way he’d be able to promise it. Tony wasn’t the problem though, and he didn’t want him to think that he was. Tony was the only one he could talk openly about it with, that he didn’t try to shy away from certain details to make it easier on him--even if he didn’t like having _real_ conversations on the subject. “Alright. You’ve got me tonight,” he murmured, pushing himself up against Tony’s palm and seeing Tony grin at him.

Maybe pretending there was only this, just for a little while, maybe it could be enough. He kissed Tony again, open mouth moving across his chin and jawline and to his mouth, the mingled taste of skin and scotch that defined Tony Stark. He tugged Tony’s shirt up and off of him, the billionaire’s response eager, muting the voices in his head as he gave in.

Right now, Bruce Banner could afford to lose control.


End file.
